Ambulette Blues

from by Ryan Doyle

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If I were to kill myself
I’d go all the way back in the woods
Where no one would find me

For the past few nights
I’ve written down my dreams
On small, yellow post-its
Then I’d burn them in the sink

I can still smell the smoke in the morning

And in the summer I'd drink
In the graveyard shade
I could’ve bought a ticket with the money I made

I wandered through Downtown Crossing
And sat on the stair
I didn’t care who saw me there

So I made a video about the way I feel
And the bright lights of the ambulette

It felt good, I guess
To get it off my chest
Still nobody knows what it’s like
To have to stand up straight

The shoes on the power line
The light from the kitchen, I know
I never felt more like myself than I did on my own
I may be faithful one day
To the woods
To the video

So when I got to the woods
Baby, I went all the way
It reminded me of all the mistakes I’ve made
I laughed some
And I cried some too
Then I took off my shirt

Well I once was lost, my best friend used to sing
But now I’m found, but I could never believe her
I turned my back on her
Put my fists in my pockets


from Last of the War Novels, released July 20, 2014


tags: folk


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Ryan Doyle

Hi. Sometimes I write songs.

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