Old Judgments

by Ryan Doyle

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03:20
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04:00
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03:01
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02:34
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04:18
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about

Cover drawing by Emily Jane Villemaire.

credits

released March 15, 2006

All songs by Ryan Doyle.

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tags: folk

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all rights reserved

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Ryan Doyle

Hi. Sometimes I write songs.

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Track Name: Jersey Water
You can tell me that you’re all right if you want to
And I'll tell you not to worry even if you oughta
You will leave when you’re all better
We all gotta put our cold shirt on

Don’t feel the same when I do it myself
Like the last kid playing in the swamp

The beautiful twin is dying

I can tell them about Ocean Grove
How I'd hide from my lesson
And you tell them about the shit you stole
And the salt in the air

They call the cops if you're in their yard
Just drinking from a garden hose, you were
But in your dreams we’re a water slide
Go down more often than we do in life, all right

We will leave when we’re all better
And keep the shoes we have

The sand won't leave the beaches, none
Just like summer's just a season

Shiny Camaro in the Seaside Heights
You drive so fast

Love, love, love's a waiting like my tide will wait
Love, love, love's a coming like my rocket ship

The beautiful twin is dying
Track Name: Our Hill At Henry Hudson
I see you in this room
Doing something wild, I say
I don’t think you believe all the things you’ve done to me

We’re weird I’m pretty sure
There’s no one in this house, you say
We might as well take the tour ourselves and then
You consciously step onto the stair

We are cool, shadowed grass beneath the trampoline
Past our hill at Henry Hudson
And the same afternoon you had bowed your head I drew

I’m listening as we go to someone else's prayers, I know
The movie starts, oh never end
Until the part where we begin to see the light

There was a storm when you were born
The first sound you heard was rain, I’m sure
I clear my throat and shut the door
All these gestures have been made before
And it’s pouring out

We are cool, shadowed grass beneath the trampoline
Past our hill at Henry Hudson
And the same afternoon you had bowed your head I drew

What’s it mean to be good?
I’d live there if I could, you know
There’s a movie of a busy street
In a town where children tap their feet
And it does exist

You lived there with your friend
She helped you with your beard and swept the kitchen floor
A hundred holes
The interviewer sails to shore
Then the movie starts

We are cool, shadowed grass beneath the trampoline
Past our hill at Henry Hudson
And the same afternoon you bowed your head I drew
Track Name: Driftwood And My Baby
So I'm on the other side
Come on over

Do you hear what I'm saying?
This advantage you have over me is unsettling
What would I be besides driftwood and your baby
If I hung out with circuit boys, diplomats?

I'm sorry, I'm so far away
I lost my temper
Track Name: Lion
You never mention the wind
But I’ll always wonder how it found its way in
You offer me some and I take it

From there we go upstairs
There’s sand in the hallway
There’s sand in our hair
It gets so dark in the backroom

You say I taste like the sea
And, gentle, the saltwater ghosts of us linger
You got a tattoo of a lion

We find our way off to sleep
And dream of the truths we have yet to discover
It gets so cold that you can see your breath

Don’t say that you’re leaving
And I won’t say that I’m leaving
I’ve got this fear of doors closing
Cause once they close they never open again
Track Name: The Pier, My Lord
I wanna die
At least for a while
And the walks I’ll take while no one is around

Would you recommend me to a friend
Cause the walks I’ll take, they’ll only bring me down

Don’t look away
My body has swung
Towards a color we’ll all be thinking of
When we’re tired and gray
I’d hate to be there in a while

I should have known with these rusty limbs
I’d be swollen for you and everything
Ladies, hide me under the pier, my Lord
Ladies, hide me under the pier

So if I’m gonna die
At least for a while
Oh, the walks I’ll take while no one is around

Would you recommend me to a friend
Cause the walks I’ll take, they’ll only bring me down

Oh, look away
My body’s so plain
And, oh, when we used to haunt ourselves so strange
We moved by ourselves
I’d love to be there for a while

I should have known with these rusty limbs
I’d be swollen for you and everything
Ladies, hide me under the pier, my Lord
Ladies, hide me under the pier
Track Name: I Had My Dog
I had my dog
She had her river
I found her body hanging on a fence
While my mother she was flying TWA
And my daddy was dancing with some other lady

I can’t remember all the houses I lived in
There’s too many to name
All the banisters feel the same to me
They all lead me down to darker rooms

And on the turnpike where it hurts to be alone
At mass I saw Father Manning and he asked me how I was
When I get grown, I told him
I wanna live with my lover
I don’t want to live with my friend
Success might be just what he’s after
I don’t know
Track Name: Chandeliers
Chandeliers made of wagon wheels
Here I go again dreaming up ways your spirit feels
And I’m looking down on a house I used to live in
My sister cried as we rode by
All I could have counted

Nowhere fast, all the broken glass
Blowing all the breath outta your mouth into my mouth
And better on the floor than in our memories
Anything to conjure up your greatest fears
And all I could have counted
Track Name: All The Whales In The World
And so tonight I’m all about what’s gone now
Now this drink takes the place of my heart
Our most vulnerable body part
The one that is rarely seen in the daylight

He was my friend, my love, my only true love
And I walked right out the door
He was my friend, my love, my only true love
Saw him walk out the door

But when I past the church I overheard,
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Tonight I’m all about what’s gone now
Now this drink takes the place of my heart
Our most vulnerable body part
The one that is rarely seen in the daylight

I got my books, my poems
All of them words tell me where I oughta go
I got my books, my poems
But none of them words are telling me where I wanna go

But when I past the church I overheard,
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

I hid the poems inside the belly of a beached whale
And all of the whales in the world
I remember one of them
About a boy who falls in love without leaving home
Now he’s singing to a moon that’s gone behind a cloud
In its summertime

I hid the poems inside the belly of a beached whale
And all of the whales in the world

But when I past the church I overheard,
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Track Name: Blithewood
Students used to live inside the mansion in the 60’s
Tomorrow you will drive over the Tappan Zee
Having lodged yourself successfully back into my spokes
You drop me off at the photo lab then be on your way

This is how we speak
These are all our voices growing old inside us
This is why we’ve come
Dressed in clothes all left undone

Well I photographed this corner
Then you sang about it later
And the fireworks at Blithewood in the summertime
They are accidents, my boy
I take them all back to the room so dark

This is where we drink and where we’ll never drink again
This is where we feel the freest we have ever felt

Hey, you blessed thing
Who won't ever let me go
You left me waiting for your horn and then it came

Crash and burn
We drink ourselves into conversation
Our tongues soaked with wine
And your steady green
We are animals, my boy
Take me all back to the city blues
Wide open hallelujah landscape

This is where we swim and where we’ll never swim again
This is where we dive
Going down in it three times but we’re only coming up twice*

Hey, you cursed thing
Who won't ever let me go
You left me waiting for your horn and then it came
Track Name: The Science Place
One hundred miles away from that big dusty house
I read you so clear and so loud

The unfinished race from Liberty State Park to the science place
I can still see the flags from the fire escape
I'm ready now

There’s solace here
They’re sleeping right in Jersey City
In Bayonne, we’re never told but they’re dreaming

How I’ll go blue and turquoise and sapphire and Malibu
I could have gone the whole way if I wanted to
I’m ready now

I’m ready now for the sweetest peach
I’m ready now to study stars
And I’m ready now to be as old and ordinary as the summertime

And I’m gonna try a new karaoke song
And I’m gonna try not living so alone
And I’m gonna wait here for this loneliness to leave from my side
And it will

And if you want cherry bombs
You can have cherry bombs