Last of the War Novels

by Ryan Doyle

supported by
Jason Mitchell
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Jason Mitchell Great album! Love the genre and Ryan did it justice here. Well done.
Rickey D Sain
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Rickey D Sain Hi Ryan. Thank you for creating such awesome music. Favorite track: There's More to Living.
shiftynj
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shiftynj Been following Ryan for a long time now. Can't wait to listen to this new disc.
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about

Cover drawing by Joe Sinness, joesinness.com

credits

released July 20, 2014

All songs by Ryan Doyle except "There's More to Living," written by Linda Rich.

A big thank you to Joe Sinness for the use of his drawing entitled "Try Being Lonely." You can find more of his artwork at joesinness.com. Also, thanks to Zach Holbrook for his banjo playing on "Hang" and thank you to Matt Nasser for letting me borrow his piano for an afternoon. And thanks to you for listening. xo Ryan

If you are a young person who is in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk, call the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386 or visit www.thetrevorproject.org. Trained counselors are available to talk 24/7.

tags

tags: folk folk

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all rights reserved

about

Ryan Doyle

Hi. Sometimes I write songs.

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Contact Ryan Doyle

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Track Name: Ambulette Blues
If I were to kill myself
I’d go all the way back in the woods
Where no one would find me

For the past few nights
I’ve written down my dreams
On small, yellow post-its
Then I’d burn them in the sink

I can still smell the smoke in the morning

And in the summer I'd drink
In the graveyard shade
I could’ve bought a ticket with the money I made

I wandered through Downtown Crossing
And sat on the stair
I didn’t care who saw me there

So I made a video about the way I feel
And the bright lights of the ambulette

It felt good, I guess
To get it off my chest
Still nobody knows what it’s like
To have to stand up straight

The shoes on the power line
The light from the kitchen, I know
I never felt more like myself than I did on my own
I may be faithful one day
To the woods
To the video

So when I got to the woods
Baby, I went all the way
It reminded me of all the mistakes I’ve made
I laughed some
And I cried some too
Then I took off my shirt

Well I once was lost, my best friend used to sing
But now I’m found, but I could never believe her
I turned my back on her
Put my fists in my pockets
Track Name: Sun Up, Scarlet Knight
Got my stories
My Love, my horror, my childhood ones
And if I leave don’t worry about me or where I’ll go
I’ll be fine

Sun up, Scarlet Knight
Sun up, Scarlet Knight

Cause when the night ends the day begins
On the banks of the old Raritan
A cold foyer
A freshman boy who just wants to live

In your loneliest voice you sang out
From your vantage point
Now you’re hanging me out to dry

From pool to pool you’d go
You said you were too drunk to dive
You took a cue from the new school
And from what you learned at the old one in ’95

Sun up, Scarlet Knight
Sun up, Scarlet Knight
Track Name: Governor's School
Shaking and awaking in the back of the bus
Thinking about a boy I knew at governor’s school

And pictures
Pictures of pianos
When I was a kid I played piano
And when I grew, I grew up lonely

But hell no
Things are looking up now
Things are getting better
Don’t you ever want to die

And movies where everything was groovy
Almost anything could move me
I could feel it in my mouth

And records
Records of us singing
When we were young we all were singing
Then Rodney died and the song, it ended

But hell no
Things are looking up now
Things are getting better
Don’t you ever want to bop bop
Security bop bop
I know that it’s mine

Bop bop
Security bop bop
I know that it’s mine
And if you want to sing, well it’s alright
Sing it all you can
Now you can hang out with your friend
The darkness can excuse you for a while

Bop bop
Security bop bop
I know that it’s mine
Track Name: Hang
It’d be the best part of the trip
If you leaned your eyes down toward mine and your sign
It read, I’ve searched your name
For clues on how you began

I’m so pathetic
I blamed you for all of my headaches
I blamed you for smothering my sight with foul gestures

And it’d be the best part of the trip
If you leaned your eyes down toward mine and your sign
It read, I’ve searched your name
For clues on how you began

The sound rarely came out clear and turquoise
You must have been packing your bags while it all came out
Crass and Subhumans
You and your flag on my wrist
Give to me your dirty art and I’ll hang it

And it’d be the best part of the trip
If you leaned your eyes down toward mine and your sign
It read, I’ve searched your name
For clues on how you began
Track Name: 'Cross the Shrewsbury
You hurt me when you left
School got out, I felt I had no place
A summer spent in such a liminal space
I'm on my way

I hurt you when I left
It was drizzling off and on
Just trying to put the damage on
I'm on my way

For whom's this latest serenade
Kick off the bulkhead and row
'Cross the Shrewsbury of my soul

I wish I had the body of Alexander Mascari
Outside of Krauszer's with them roller coaster screams
Making amends with you in my dreams

In my dreams, we’re walking on the water
But we’re only walking down the street
Just practicing our Bob Dylan cruelty
We got clovers and clubs on our sleeves

We’re just trying to be someone we’re not
Track Name: Arpeggios
While the kids jumped from roof to roof
From calling to calling
We stuck it out on those old terra cotta tiles

We could see to Fort Monmouth
We could talk about it

Playing those arpeggios
Up and down
Made me come around

And while the golds and the blues turned the sunset
You know I tried to tell you
But you'd never believe me

So we talked about your weakness
For the boys up on the marque
Out in the dark
Out in the streets of our daily anger

I saw you there
A fellow cast away

Playing those arpeggios
Up and down
Made me come around

Sure I thought about my early, wild years
But I'm through with that kind of longing
At least for now, all I want is proof
Come on, gimme some proof
Of my worth
Track Name: For Erik
It's 12:40 in New York, a Thursday
A week before B leaves for California

And I'm walking past the bodega down on Havemeyer
I see my friend Geoff, I haven't heard from him in a while

He says, Last night Erik Rhodes died of a heart attack
I knew you had a thing for him a few years back

You followed him down to where his skin began
Down those lonesome limbs
You memorized just how they'd bend

You called him up one night when you were feeling low
You waited for an hour, but he never showed

And the way a horseshoe curves and envelopes you
I remember at Industry you'd watch him from across the room

And there were no trophies found in his dresser drawers
Or change in the jeans he wore the night before

And there were no laurel leaves found beneath his bed
No saved e-mails, never sent

Just the cold, pale, blue of computer light
The softening of his skin like dandelions

Cause what's there to do with flesh after it wastes away
After eight, tired years of verses and refrains

And this morning I was so hungover from my father’s wine
Just as a twin brother awoke into an only child

What am I gonna do now?
If only I knew how
Track Name: Rectory Steps
For the greater good, sir
I fell in line
Attaboy
The saddest lines were all through composed

I hope when I’m gone (the last of the war novels)
I won’t wrestle much (was from the point of view of a child)
No, it’s a kind of interdependence
We’ve, for too long, relied on

Wait, tell me where to go (the girls braid each other’s hair)
If it were that simple (on the rectory steps)
I would’ve found my way by now
My shoes untied
My uniform stained black and blue
But in my mind I’ve gone farther than I’ve ever gone
Past the Donnelly’s
My brother used to hang there all the time
Track Name: Alone, Idly Yours
I’ve been feeling lonely
Having found out that my house was never haunted
When I get home from work
Nothing’s ever fixed
Nothing’s stolen

It’s okay if you’re not true to me
We learned to dance at night
When the clubs let out and the sun comes up
You deserve to be alright

Alone, idly yours
An anagram for my baby twice removed
I’ve been crying in the base exchange
Can’t find the strength to go back to my room

Farthest from the alter
Farthest from the sea
I dreamed that I met Jesus and he was lonelier than me
We were figuring out the chords to “Will Your Anchor Hold”

Come and take me in your blues
Brush up against the places we were born into
I don’t mind

We can talk as if we’re adults
We can talk as if we’re strangers
And walk me home with blood on my shoes

And think of all the new ways
Our bodies will move when we are famous
I once followed him to one part of the city to another

My heart can break for someone else
Just as it breaks for you
A city with no influence and no purpose
All’s misconstrued

So alone, idly yours
An anagram for my baby, for my bride
I know how far the tide comes up
I’ve seen it with much more than just my eyes

For the rebels and their albatross
I’ve nothing left to give
A season spent in infantry
I’ve changed my mind, I wanna live

Been plugging up the holes with steel wool, babe

Come and take me in your blues
Brush up against the places we were born into
I don’t mind

We can talk as if we’re adults
We can talk as if we’re strangers
And walk me home with blood on my shoes